Monica : Good, thank you. What do the monks think about family life? And do you consider family life to be a distraction from your faith?
Luang Por : Family life is restricted by many factors, similar to a fish swimming in a tank compared to a fish swimming in the ocean. While one is constrained in a specific area, the other enjoys the boundless space of the sea. In other words, we may also compare a married couple to caged birds who are not allowed to fly freely in the sky. So marriage is a binding of life, and family life is not easy. There are several things to worry about, and this would obstruct the path towards Arahantship, the highest attainment for laypeople in Buddhism. If we wish to attain nirvana, monkhood is the only status that takes you there. For laypeople, they can attain enlightenment up to a certain level, but not the highest level. Look at Prince Siddharta who was blessed with a beautiful wife and an adorable baby boy. He had never found the utmost satisfaction in life although he had abundant wealth, dignity, power, and servants. Finally, he renounced the world and sought to ordain since he realized that a family life does not encourage the Dhamma attainment. Is that clear to you?
Monica : It seems as if we in the west only find happiness when we buy a new car or a big house, and have a lot of material things around us. I think that you have good inspired thinking, so I wonder, what gives a Buddhist life value?
Luang Por : What matters most to Buddhists is Dhamma attainment, because happiness obtained from external sources such as family, dignity, power, and fortune are still limited. They coexist with life’s obligations. But happiness and joy from Dhamma attainment is boundless and superior to a household life. Then the value of life can be achieved through the attainment of Dhamma that exists within oneself. Having said that, I would also like to emphasize a basic need for material wealth to a certain degree, but it will never buy true happiness and the highest satisfaction in life for us. Prince Siddharta, as an example, rejected his excess royal wealth because he foresaw that they provided limited happiness whereas sufferings still existed. His
solution was to ordain and seek enlightenment which yielded the highest satisfaction for himself. Those who possess great wealth but never feel satisfied with their lives are still unsuccessful. But the Dhamma attainment will lead us to the highest satisfaction. We will desire for nothing more. We will be able to rely on ourselves and be independent from all external factors.
Monica : What about the tradition of going to the temple? Is it the norm that you have to go to the temple regularly as a Buddhist? Is it acceptable to go just once in a while, or must you go every Sunday? I am talking about normal Buddhists, not monks.
Luang Por : Devout Buddhists usually go to the temple to make merits. However, like in other religions, non-strict Buddhists do not care to keep this trait. They do not make themselves a frequent visitor to temples.
Monica : Do the scriptures teach about organizing the temple, and the fellowship among other Buddhists?
Luang Por : There is a teaching that Buddhists should visit temples regularly in order to learn from the wise, the sages, and especially the Buddhist monks, who prolong the Lord Buddha’s teachings. This allows the new generation to understand the truth of life and to follow the path accordingly, so they can live their lives righteously towards the ultimate goal of humankind by correcting their view first. The Lord Buddha never forced anyone to become a Buddhist or to visit the temples, he just pointed out the many benefits of doing so. This raises the awareness that one should take the best care of oneself in both private and public aspects by doing only good deeds. Did I make it clear to you? Simply speaking, Buddhists do not force anyone to visit temples but they help to provide a better understanding of Buddhism, until one is willing to come. For example, one is given guidance on how to have the right livelihood which would secure for oneself a rebirth only in the wholesome realms.
